Go Away, Coronavirus

I often find myself wondering what Torey would be saying right now about the Covid-19 / Coronavirus … Initially, he would have been appalled and thrown the middle finger up to anyone who was trying to be cautious. LOL! But, if he had heard the concern in Tran’s phone call to me on Monday I think it would have sunk in like it did for me. Yes, people are trippin’ out over toilet paper and it’s so frustrating to go to a store and see the frenzy. At the same time, I understand that we have to be cautious, careful and hygienic. 

HOWEVER, I am not going to stop living my life. Torey wouldn’t have. He would have done exactly what I did yesterday evening with Das. I took Das to Twin Peaks for one last time on Monday evening because we have no idea when we’re going to be able to go back. They made room for us at the bar when they saw us and already had my drink ready for me. (now that’s good service!). The city of Dallas will not allow any bar, restaurant or gym to be open until April 29th. My heart goes out to all of our friends in the service industry. 

We’ve been running a few errands together but haven’t really ventured out into a group setting environment – and the both of us miss this so much right now!

After Torey passed away I used the places he often visited as a form of escape, mingling with people he often hung out with. I made new friends who shared their own memories of him and I miss this part of my new existence. It’s already hard enough to deal with the feeling of loneliness, but to have it taken away and not have interaction with grown folks on a daily basis is a little unraveling! Das has his online friends he often plays video games with, but still. It’s not the same and it feels like his spring break is some sick joke. I just hope this madness blows over soon, people are safe and we all can resume our daily lives. 

All I know is my last therapy session was a good one. I think I have all of my over-drinking in control now. I was too busy trying to numb myself. My therapist said I’ve made a little progress in the acceptance part. Instead of wanting to see me once every two weeks she wants to see me once a month while I continue with my online support groups. She also said that Das and I are not doing anything wrong in taking our time in interacting with people we used to interact with regularly. This includes family and friends. 

I hope this is understandable, but if it’s not, then I get it. 

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