24 weeks in … it’s hard to believe we’re in the sixth month since T-Mitch’s tragic loss. Six months … never thought I could go this long without him and it’s hard to accept the notion of having to live like this until my own death.
I truly appreciate those of you who have been checking up on him whether via phone calls or texts. He doesn’t always respond right away so don’t take it personally – it’s a teenage thing (I think). Quarantine life with him has been decent actually – we give each other our space most of the time. I only see him if he’s hungry or thirsty during the day. In the evenings if I’m watching something he’s interested in, then he’ll join me. We watch ‘The Last Dance’ together so that’s been great – it’s easy to hear Torey’s thoughts while watching this show and I know Das feels the same way.
Das has been going through it, too … we had one of the most epic heart to hearts last week and it was good for both of us. He talked about the music he listens to in such a way that it reminded me of how he had been interested in producing beats when he was younger. Of course, Torey was absolutely thrilled about this and encouraged him … he’d rap to Das’ beats – absolutely loved it. I think Das is ready to get back to this passion and I have every intention on helping him – so be on the lookout!
The school semester is about to end – it’s been a difficult road for Das for the past six months. He’s had a hard time focusing and he’s been going through his own emotional roller coaster. Luckily, he has an amazing support system from his high school counselors, coaches, friends, and teammates – along with many parents. Das struggled with keeping his grades up and it was the cause of a lot of stress between the two of. Something beautiful came out of this though – after our heart-to-heart convo, it helped us understand one another on a new level. It’s been quite a journey and we still have a long road to travel, but we have each other to rely on and that’s all that matters.
On another note, my dreams have been more and more intense to say the least. For example, in a dream two nights ago we were with Torey, hanging out at Twin Peaks with Das (as per usual, right!?) – we talked about our day and drifted down memory lane. To see him laugh and smile again just warmed my soul. He told us he had to go but I didn’t let go of his hand, instead I woke up before he could say bye because I didn’t want him to say bye.
I’ve been letting Das DJ whenever we venture out on a food-run excursion, so his play list has been Travis Scott, Post Malone, 21 Savage, etc. etc. I’m not a fan of most of this stuff, but I do like Kendrick and J Cole. Anyway, recently I had a dream that I was hanging out with Das and we ran into some of his friends – next thing I know Post Malone is in the group and I was like, “Wait, aren’t you Post Malone?? What are you doing here!?” The dude responded with, “Man I dunno, I’m just tryna chill witch’y’all, ya know?” with his arms out and his goofy grin and tattooed face. SMH! I told Das the next day and that cracked him up pretty good.
I’m incredibly proud of Das and I know Torey is, too. After checking his grades yesterday, I almost fell out of my chair because he had been in the red for the past few months and this is no longer the case!! I called him into the room as if I was upset and when he came out, I gave him the biggest hug and a huge kiss on his cheek – he looked bewildered with his “What’s-wrong-with-you-Ma?” expression. As a reward I made some shrimp and spinach alfredo (he devoured it and had seconds – this makes me SO HAPPY!)
Happy Mother’s Day BTW.
I just got back from puttin’ my son to bed and takin some time to lay with him and listen to his heartbeat. It made me realize how grateful I am for every breath and heartbeat that my son takes! He is the single biggest blessing of my life!T-Mitch, May 8, 2009