His Birthday is Coming

Torey’s birthday is coming up on the 18th … I’m not sure how I feel about it. I think of my mother-in-law, Vivi, often and the pain she’s going through as well.

A beautiful soul was born that day back in 1976 only to be taken too soon…

Born in Wadley Regional Medical Center…

I feel like I was there based on the many times I’ve heard his Grandmother Charlotte and Vivi describe that day…

It rained and rained…

The hospital flooded…

He was a healthy young baby and as a young boy loved spending time with family…

Torey loved to reminisce about spending time at his Grandparents’ house on Des Moines street…

Loved climbing trees…

Enjoyed his Grandmother’s cooking and her bountiful garden…

Enjoyed watching his Grandfather fix the front porch – how he could hammer the nail into the wood with just one powerful stroke…

How the flowers bloomed – tulips, hydrangeas stood out to him the most…

He loved picking berries and fishing with a pan in the nearby creek…

His love of sports, especially baseball…

Spending time and playing with his best friend, Gib, and later his younger brothers…

Then there were the darker times during his childhood, things he didn’t disclose to just anyone…

His childhood alone was enough of an experience that shaped him into the man he became…

The teenage years helped him discover a fun, crazy and an eye-opening social life…

His love for baseball grew but he decided to set it aside…

The first birthday I celebrated with Torey was his 20th in 1996…

So young and SO deep in love!

We grew into adulthood together and what an amazing journey…

Living in Houston during our 20s was an absolute blast – we were free to the world, making mistakes which we later learned from, but we never lost sight of one another…

Our 30s marks the time we started our family when Das entered our lives…

The bond between the three of us was and always is our super glue…

Fatherhood allowed Torey to fully become the caring man he always wanted to be for Das…

Baseball re-entered his life again and he couldn’t have been happier…

Everything he did was to make sure Das was prepared for high-school level of competition – yes, everything…

Sure, he gave a damn about the environment and took initiative…

He marched to the beat of his own drum – a trait I’ve always admired and fully supported…

Torey would come up with so many incredible ideas and I was there to back him up and help him…

There isn’t anything he couldn’t do, or I wouldn’t do for him…

He just needed a little more time to get to where he wanted to get to…

2020 was going to be the year for him and he always talked about this, always reassured me that our lives will improve, and Das will be set for college level baseball…

This was supposed to be his year…

This was supposed to be the year we were going to celebrate our 25th year of being together…

Maybe we were supposed to celebrate another 25 years together or maybe we weren’t… but if we weren’t supposed to then why did he have to leave this world so soon? Why?

It’s not fair and yes, acceptance has set in, but not 100%…

I still feel:

Grief. Cheated. Trauma. Anger. Emotional pain. Physical pain. Anxiety. Loneliness. Despair. Frustration. Depression. Nostalgic. Numb. Confusion. Yearning. Panic. Fear. Regret.

The closer his birthday approaches, one feeling I cannot shake: Sadness.

It’s going to be so hard to face June 18th

Yes, I will be celebrating Torey Mekhale Mitchell as best as I can – Das will, too…

But dammit … it’s not supposed to be this way. Period. 

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