Note: This post is NOT meant to upset anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s just a log to keep track of my grief journey … I posted this in one of my grief groups:
No one wants to really hear about your struggle with grief unless they’ve been through something similar as you… and even then you don’t feel like bringing it up because you don’t want to get them down in their own struggle. It’s not an easy thing to deal with. It’s a constant struggle. Many people want the best for you and have the best intentions, but there really isn’t a time frame to set on whether or not you’re ready to move on. People will pin-point this and say they’re worried about you for NOT moving on.
They’ll compare it to their own experiences with divorce/break-ups while acknowledging it’s NOT the same thing. They have good intentions. I get it, but … people just need to stop with this sentiment.
Yes, I know I’m still in my 40s – relatively young enough to pursue a relationship. I’m not ready.
Yes, I do want to feel happy again as opposed to being sad every fucking day and crying at the whim. I’m not ready.
Yes, I want my son to see me happy and I want him to be happy. We’re not ready.
It’s just really hard and people just need to leave people like us alone in reference to encouragement in this sense.
Instead they should say, “I’m here for you and am open to listening to what’s going on with you.”
I’ve been talking to people in my grief groups about this – along with a few counselors. ….and you can’t rush getting over grief. You cannot rush anyone into “moving on” … it’s a fact and it is what it is.
Truth be told: I met the love of my life at 18 … been with him ever since. T-Mitch is all I know! My first EVERYTHING! I’ve never been in the dating field as an adult and based on other people’s experiences (similar to mine) I’m not sure I WANT to. I’m going to take this as a challenge when I’m ready to. That. Is. All.