Dear Torey…

You’ve been gone 18 months.

It feels like a lifetime.

Das and I are doing our best … but the road is still marked with moon sized craters, twists and turns.

It’s hard to fight back the random tears and sobs.

All we have are precious memories – even the bad moments are precious because you were here.

Your light, your glow, your smile, your touch, your laugh, your words, your everything are truly missed.

I still see you and feel you in my dreams.

Can you hear me when I talk to you?

I feel silly when I talk to you out loud, but I get comforted to know you can hear me … even in my quiet thoughts.

I’m not sure why I’m even writing this in my blog, but I suppose it’s a moment to document.

Maybe others can find some comfort?

Speaking of others … it’s not always easy to talk about you.

Some folks get uncomfortable.

I don’t mind it when others share their own sorrow because I know how much you mean to them.

I just don’t like it when people get uncomfortable or when they have the attitude of, “just get over it.”

It’s honestly not that easy.

I always wonder what you would do if you were in my shoes.

Would you feel like I do?

How would you try to drown this grief?

I think you’d be better at this than I am.

Where on earth would you scatter my ashes?

I want my ashes to be with yours.

Some in the Pacific with you as you wished and some with you in a tree planted by Das as we both wished.

Speaking of our boy, he had to wear jeans for a team picture at Hebron today!

LOL! He hasn’t worn jeans since elementary/middle school because of his catcher legs!

He wore your black boots, too.

Oh how we MISS YOU, T-Mitch!

Love you, Babe… forever and always.

~ neena

And for those of you who actually read this:

Torey Mitchell | Belligerent Gus Blog


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